This year is about to end.
I have always wanted 2019 to end fast and here I am feeling so grateful that time feels like it is fast.

2019 has been a vey different year, where the first 6 months of 2019 were a bless, and the rest of the months are a curse. It is like I have been living 2019 version 1 and 2019 version 2.

This is where it is going to get cheesy.

This year taught me a lot. Like really a lot

Self Love
True Love
A bond of a family
Friendship
My priority
To explore what I am capable of.

There were ups and down, and I have been tested and be at my lowest past my breaking points but despite that I still walked and laughed it off.


derived from the curse, I am now discover my priority, my goals.

Which may be a bless lying under that curse and I will be grateful and enter 2020 like a lady i should be.

For those that hurt me in 2019

I  fooking forgive you, but I wont bring you to my book of 2020. You are my past and you will stay that way.

To people that I cherish the most, know that I will always be here for you just reached out okay.

To myself, I hope you will reach what you want in 2020 but the only thing that you need to remember is not to give up as

"Success is a repeated effort"

Lets be a person that do good okay.

Bismillah, Assalammualaikum 2020. Lets hope you will turn out good too.

<3

I cant help but think that nosey people really lack of something called love and attention as they like to stick their nose at unnecessary things and getting busy talking about other people's lifes. Anyways this one shot of a year is about to end, lets not be dumb in 2020 and lets be people with good common sense.




hint: Raja Chulan


2 more days before freedom! 

there are about 14 days left before everything ends.

Working in a corporate world isnt really my niche. I figured that since day 1 hence the eagerness to end this all grows bigger every single day.

I know people say that to get out of your box, get out of there and face challenges so that you will grow. But some flowers die when it is too hot, or too cold.

I learn that people grow differently, people face hardships differently. I learn that to stay in the box can be a challenge too.

I dont want to go into the depth of my suffering through this medium, but know that please carefully pick your poison. Make sure if you want to feel pain, make sure that the pain is worthy. That is the kind of challenge that you should face. Not that kind of dumb-ass challenge that you are able to overcome and get nothing in return. No self-grow, no self-improvement, no nothing.

August to December have been shittiest time of the months for me, too many things happen, too  many nerves get triggered. It was like a pain, and then another pain and then add some more. 

That sometimes make me feel, are human supposed to feel miserable like this? continuously? Is this why people do suicide? because they get hurt too much? because they want to end the suffering?

Im getting to know me better.

I wish getting better is easy.

I hope I am getting better.

I just wish that human can be kinder to each other and dont hurt each other. This earth can be a better place.

Why cant we all be kind to each other?

Despite of everything, I know I have people that love me and will support me even with my flaws and I am forever grateful for that. I will be better for them too and avoid myself from doing stupid things. 

I cant wait for december to end but I really dont want January 2020 to happen. Can we skip to fasting month in 2020 instead?

Bismillah semoga urusan lisa dipermudahkan. Contoh cam urusan FYP, urusan kerja, urusan jodoh. belako lah pendek kata. amin amin 

xoxo

maleh aquew

"Sa, are you okay"

"mu okey dok?"

"Kau ok tak ni?"

These basic questions really hit hard.

I am constantly asking myself whether I am okay, or fooking faking that I am okay.

I think I am okay. Please put aside that FYP is killing me. Other than that, suprisingly I am okay.

Yeah I have been through shitstorms. But everybody has the same problems and I have been scrolling Twitter obidiently and find people that have the same problems as me. With that I feel I am not alone and I feel less bad.

I really dont know about the future. I am scared of the future. What if someday I will break down and cry like a ponde. But I will always comfort myself, that is life. You get hurt, you cry, you get the fookin up. That is life. YoU WILL BE okAY. Slowly but surely.

So many plans after the final presentation. Lets get that bread. I am buying the punching bag to learn boxing. If I am dedicated enough I may be able to break some brick-faced. 

MasyaAllah sis is someone that likes peace. I like peace I wont go around punching people.......unless?

You know I leaarn the hard way of art of being okay.

Im pretty sure other people learn things the hard way too.

Such as never leave your food unmonitored,

Never eat too much of spicy foodss *drooling*

or study or else you will feel death the night before examination,

or just fall into the trap of sweet-mouthed fox

Same 'ol stuff.

DUDE LiFE Was woRSE but im okay.

Anyways,

Have you heard of Law of Attraction?

It is like whatever energy we are focusing on, we will get the same energy back. In my opinion, things were like that.

Maybe this year I am too focus on the negative energy, so for the new year resolution. This cute gorl will focus on moreeeeee positive energy.

In case you havent grasp it yet. I am okay.

So, how about you?

I think we gonna be okay :) 

Okay you know what? 26 more days. It is crazy.

I dont think I am ready yet.

I know that you will get tired of hearing this.

But you will be okay. Life will get better, you will get what you want and if not maybe Allah will replace what you want with something better.

Every year is difficult ey? I know. 

Last year I though 2018 was the worse then come along 2019 that prove that Im wrong. 2019 is like the worse year ever.

As we grow up, challenges become harder too. 

But you know what, you will get through that too. Just like how you thought you would fail in 2018 but now here you are in 2019 reading this pathetic excuse of a blog. You will be okay.

#26moredays

#doakanlisasiapFYP