Welcome to this pathetic excuse of a blog. I have been changing layout too many times, so i decided to just let it to be bare like this. Ugly I know.

Actually I have no one to talk to. So im gonna pour my whole heart content here just because I think no one really knows me here.

So, it has been hectic daysss for me but Im just trying to calm down a bit, to take a breath and not be sad or stressing out. All those things like internship, assignments have been driving me up to walls so I started to be grouchy and irritated. So i tend to flip and regret it the next second after that. I have been trying so hard to contain all those negative vibes but then, it is hard and I am alone. So the negative vibes escape a bit. Slowly im becoming a monster.

The whole time, I always trying to be a positive person so I make jokes, I laugh like a lot. A whole bunch of it. I did try. I do try to be better. To be the perfect girl that this world needs, not the emotional and unstable Lisa that ruins everything.

She is damaged. Too damage.

I am surrounded. I do have friends but when that one time I cannot help but feels so lonely that it hurts. Then I thought, maybe I should just isolate myself.

Maybe it will help.

But it doesnt help. It makes it worse.

My sadness is getting worse.

I just want to be happy.

I just wanna go to the waterfall or a garden full of sunflowers. I just want to find my other half. I just wanna get comforting hugs. I just wanna to be held.

I want to stay away from other people.

They dont deserve this ruined part of me.

They deserve so much better.

I dont know what to do, I dont have someone I can talk to.

I am not good in expressing my feelings,

I dont know how to differentiate jokes,

I dont know how to face you,

I just want all of this to end.

So I can start over all over again.

So I dont do the same mistake.

All is going to be okay right? It will always end up well :)

Happy Ramadhan.