*proceed in crying silently*

ah im such a weak at heart,

but i have come so far,

That is to love and respect myself more.

I have been taken myself for granted these few years back,

when I should deserved so much because i know I deserve the best.

I am slowly making peace with every single bulls that arrived. Yeah that come in persons too. Slowly aite. Maybe going for 1 km/h. A tad bit faster than turtles. Dont use straws guys, save the turtles!

BUt I swear to God. Making peace is hard especially when you just want to burn them down. Not literally of course. I like peace started when I was 18, i am a peace-lover.

Why not at 12 years old you said? Or why not 11...10... or even 17 ...etc etc?

Yeah I started to punch people in the face for uttering bulls at the age of 9. There were many memories of me KO-ing people that Im gonna tell my future daughters soon.

"My child, if a person hurt you and talk bad about you. You go and punch them in the face. That will shut them."

But I am embracing the pigeon. Instead Im going to tell them. 

"Held your head high and walk away from contagious stupidity my child."

Anyways back to our non-intellectual discussion.

So I do the most Lisa's thing to do. I listen to songs and make peace with myself. Lately I have found a new song that fit my sometimes a pathetic life but im not gonna share the list here because I am kedekut asf. Deal with it. Go find your own songs zzzz

...and you know how ridiculous life is?

I think life is the most ridiculous and you know what? The ending is going to be us "DEAD"

we gonna die

...yeah read that again

we gonna die

whats the point of overthinking?

I always think that pain is something that us human needs to feel. It is a feeling. Unlike you. You are a pain. Yeah Im talking about you. 

But I aint gonna live with that pain hanging heavy on my chest. Dude I got a life. My life isnt fun, but I have one. Sometimes they gave you life too you know, when you go and buy KFC chickens. They come in small white packets. You should go there sometimes. I tried them. Its spiceyyy. There were sour versions too. 100/10 recommended.

You know, when you feel down sometimes you need a boost. For me I need a boost to feed the narcist monster inside me. Sometimes I just let it starve to prevent catastrophe from happening. Sometimes I just dont care.

Dude Im own up my title, and I show you far more than that

......but after I get my mess cleaned up and I procrastinate a lot so that maybe gonna take a while :')

Lets get serious okay. I often blame things on myself for something bad that I cannot control. I often blame myself when someone being bad to me and I kept saying that it is my fault that I am never perfect.

You know, when people hurt you. It is their choice. But never blame yourself. 

You know how bad it is to have anxiety and shaking as soon as you wake up? To feel dead inside sampaikan you need to find another alternatives just to not let it shows? Untuk biasakan ekspresi muka supaya tidak nampak yang sebenarnya kat dalam tu dah kosong? To hide that we are just an empty case for the body?

I dont want you to feel that.

I think whats the  point in life is to just...is to live well so that kita boleh tolong orang lain you know.

You will feel better after you do good deeds. Trust me. But if you feel like a shit after you do good deeds, Masya Allah sistur go check your iman at CheckyouIman apps on playstore.

Live well, dont hurt yourself

...and dont be a ho. This is very important.

49 more days guys come on I need single number! Masa plish lah lari cepat sikit kenapa stamina lemah sangat ni masa kenapa!