2018 and still lame

December 22, 2018

Hello.

my first post in 2018 and this year is about to end.

this year has been so fast. and sad. and overwhelming at the same time.

i have been laughing, crying, and got involved in a minor accident , and also fall in love at the same year.

so nothing actually change. except for the fact that im waiting for the text back? kind of?

So, is anyone reading this? If there is, i want to let you know that im okay. we are okay. this year is about to end yes?

Many things I have learnt this year, first is never, never turn your back on your dream. Because I did, and i suffered like there's no tomorrow because everything is hard, especially when i didn't like what i am doing now, what i am studying now. so never, never ever turn your back on your dream. Keep sleeping. 

and then, i learnt that people don't actually like me when I'm sad. so they run away. that's okay because i don't like your existence either. so we equal yes?

ah we can do good every days and people wont still like us and i guess that's life. I mean if there is only good people in this world, where is the dramas? I love sipping teas and I know you do too.

you know, people can be damaged by words aight? so, for 2019 lets all watch our words and be kind. May God bless us.




and... lets move to the next very important thing.
i told you, i fall in love.
i actually forget how it actually feels.

to be very honest, last i fell in love was when i was 9 or 10? call it as puppy love or whatever but that thing lasted till i was 16 and that shit hurt. like really hurt kind of the demon-suck-my-soul-and-burn-it-to-ashes kinda hurt. so it reaaaaallly hurt as it was an unrequited love. 

now I'm 22 and in love again. and preparing myself for emotional roller coaster ride. I don't know what to do, so I ended up becoming a stuttering mess i swear to God why am i like this, i don't even know why. It kinda hurt. I hate this. My closest friends said that, it might be mutual considering the positive feedback from the other side but then......I am much of a coward to confront him and say the words. but I'm gonna be okay right?

so that's it. i mean if you wanna know more details...... hit me up if you have my number. 

May this year ends well for me, and for those who are reading this. lets try be more positive and better person yes? being negative can get you sick, damaging your soul and ruining that pretty face. so lets be positive.

have courage and be kind :)


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