Bitterest pessimist, sweetest optimist.

Don't open this. It contains a cliffhanger.

October 03, 2019

Life is = IDGAF

September 24, 2019

Guys, healing process is quite slow.

Im feeling like a turtle or even worse.....a three toed sloth.

But i am healing so that is actually a progress.

Fighting!

Anyways I read a book on something sounded like art of not giving a f*ck

So I thought I want to share my opinion on this.

This book is actually quite good.

So lets just fit that in my life.

I have been known as a person that is oblivious to everything. Someone that rarely shows emotion, someone that feels no fear or actually know what nervous means. People just dont believe me when I said that I am nervous. In the simplest words, people just know that I reaaally dont give a f*ck.

I dont have a resting b*tch face, I have a resting b*tch attitude. Yeah I am actually resting.

But deep down, I really do give a f*ck, I just dont show them.

Ah this post started to become so harsh with the words... I am sorry, but I did sensor em.

Now I am learning on how to mastering the art and how to sling shot lemons back to life.

Lets get back to the book.

So, this book actually tells that we are...indeed ungrateful and loser beings in world that is waiting to be destroyed.

Lets say that, we have this mindset of

"I will be happy if I get this"

"I am only happy if I am skinnier"

"If I get the highest mark, damn Im not gonna complain"

That is not true, there is not formula to stay in the happy bubble, Even if you get what you want, you will find another messed-up-things to be sad and unhappy about.

We are so in love of the result, the outcomes but sometimes we forget that... the lesson in life comes from the process to achieve the outcomes.

It is just like we want to get the sweetest apple from the tree, but we dont want to soil our hands with the dirts and fertilizer. We didnt even bother to actually start planning the tree!

That is my ladies and gentleman. A human.

We want that certain happiness, we love the idea of being happy created by our own safe bubble but we dont want the pain that comes with it.

The pain is actually quite good.

Mind you I am not a masochist.

What I am trying to say is pain helps you to be stronger. Pain teaches you how to be careful. Pain teaches you not to let your guard down, Pain teaches you to love right.

Pain is wrong when you isolate yourself, pain is dangerous when you think of wanting to end everything, pain is unhealthy when you started to doubt and be harsh on yourself.

I know all of us know pain. It is either you are the cause of the pain, or you get the pain.

Pain can be the stepping stone for you to be better, stronger, prettier version of yourself. Be smart to handle those pain. Pain can be a beauty too you know.

What gives you happiness today, might not be remembered for the next year.

What hurts you today, you will laugh at it tomorrow.

What makes you cry yourself to sleep last night, wont even have a place in your mind the next few weeks.

Because nothing last forever and we are all going to die anyway. Judging from the climate change and destroyed ecosystem, I guess we will die sooner.

Yeah the book reminded me that we are all going to die. So, lets die as a champion against our worst enemy. Our own self.

I just read like 60++ pages of the book on train...................im so lazy bunoh sajerlha aquew

But I am trying to be stronger, this book actually helps me a bit and it is humorous. So, go read it!

I know life is hard. Life is very hard. Life can be very hard when you think you are alone. Indeed life is hard and we are all losers. The best that we can do is to become a respectable loser. I dont know how to explain it, but I hope you get the ideas.

Learn the i dont give a f*ck attitude so that you can stare dead right through your enemy and walk away to be a human with pride.

That sums up basically everything :) I hope you get the strength and support that you need and be a better person just for you first.

Check Mate?

August 05, 2019

June is fine

June 30, 2019

Roller-coaster for May

May 16, 2019

Today

March 24, 2019

2018 and still lame

December 22, 2018

Hello.

my first post in 2018 and this year is about to end.

this year has been so fast. and sad. and overwhelming at the same time.

i have been laughing, crying, and got involved in a minor accident , and also fall in love at the same year.

so nothing actually change. except for the fact that im waiting for the text back? kind of?

So, is anyone reading this? If there is, i want to let you know that im okay. we are okay. this year is about to end yes?

Many things I have learnt this year, first is never, never turn your back on your dream. Because I did, and i suffered like there's no tomorrow because everything is hard, especially when i didn't like what i am doing now, what i am studying now. so never, never ever turn your back on your dream. Keep sleeping.

and then, i learnt that people don't actually like me when I'm sad. so they run away. that's okay because i don't like your existence either. so we equal yes?

ah we can do good every days and people wont still like us and i guess that's life. I mean if there is only good people in this world, where is the dramas? I love sipping teas and I know you do too.

you know, people can be damaged by words aight? so, for 2019 lets all watch our words and be kind. May God bless us.

and... lets move to the next very important thing.

i told you, i fall in love.

i actually forget how it actually feels.

to be very honest, last i fell in love was when i was 9 or 10? call it as puppy love or whatever but that thing lasted till i was 16 and that shit hurt. like really hurt kind of the demon-suck-my-soul-and-burn-it-to-ashes kinda hurt. so it reaaaaallly hurt as it was an unrequited love.

now I'm 22 and in love again. and preparing myself for emotional roller coaster ride. I don't know what to do, so I ended up becoming a stuttering mess i swear to God why am i like this, i don't even know why. It kinda hurt. I hate this. My closest friends said that, it might be mutual considering the positive feedback from the other side but then......I am much of a coward to confront him and say the words. but I'm gonna be okay right?

so that's it. i mean if you wanna know more details...... hit me up if you have my number.

May this year ends well for me, and for those who are reading this. lets try be more positive and better person yes? being negative can get you sick, damaging your soul and ruining that pretty face. so lets be positive.

have courage and be kind :)

Love stories are sometimes pathetic.

February 18, 2017

So finally i decided to get my lazy self to continue writing.

And here is my story...

I was an ordinary girl with an ordinary face, a plump body and not so genius girl. Everything was fine and cool and all those happy typical moments that you saw in the movies like I was a girl with loads of foods, funny friends and good grade, well at least i didn’t fail you know. So I considered my grade is good, not that great but it was good enough to avoid me from torturing my ears with my parents’ nagging.

And then one day I decided to fall in love.

I remembered that first time I met him. I was 10 years old at that time. Too young to fall in love. Too young too dumb to realised. I know. I was sitting at the back of the classroom and he sat at the front of the classroom. I was talking with my friends, talking about that song that went viral during those days. That frickin ketchup song. So I was dancing, moving my head, my hands and my whole body following the steps of the ketchup’s dance and he was looking straight at me with an idiotic smile on his face. He was looking straight at me and with the grin on his face, he followed my dance and continued talking with his friends. MY HEART FELL AT THAT MOMENT, my stupid little heart decided to fall in love. That was my first memory of him.

So, we currently had finished our mid term examination and I got first place. The homeroom teacher, Ms. Rose tend to fix our sits according to ranks. Since I got the first place, she put me in front of the classroom..and in front of the teacher’s desk. Damn I hate that sit so much because you couldn’t sleep because the teacher fecking sit in front of you ergh. But then again, surprise me lord of love my crush got second place in class and was ordered to sit beside me holy love in the air *sprinkled roses in air*

And that was it. My love story ended just like that because my crush got another crush and I moved away to another state. Some love stories are just pathetic, just like mine.

Thing about love is, it is unpredictable

February 10, 2017

Pages

IT IS AN OPEN LETTER part 2

Don't open this. It contains a cliffhanger.

Rezeki

Life is = IDGAF

Check Mate?

June is fine

Roller-coaster for May

Today

2018 and still lame

Love stories are sometimes pathetic.

Thing about love is, it is unpredictable

Escapism

Today is

The day I am healed

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